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Thank you for visiting A Crowded Fire, a site that strives to bring you the best in humor, political commentary, and journalism. Please direct any questions or comments about the site to ACrowdedFire@Yahoo.com. All work, unless otherwise noted, is the exclusive property of Aaron Sussman and A Crowded Fire. The Original "About Page" Message: Welcome to A Crowded Fire, a humor site featuring various types of work and information regarding the radio show of the same name. Though the radio show is the collective product of Jordan, Josh, Russ, and myself, only I should be blamed and beaten for the content of this website. The material displayed here may not be appropriate for everyone and I recommend that you read the Disclaimer before proceeding. I also recommend that you read the Disclaimer intermittently while viewing this site – I’d say once every five minutes is sufficient. It is probably a good idea to check in with the Disclaimer whenever you use the Internet. Actually, whenever you use your computer for any purpose. Just pop up the ol’ Disclaimer and give her a whirl. Set the Disclaimer as your homepage! It can’t hurt. It can’t hurt to let the Disclaimer control you. It can’t hurt to become the slave of the Disclaimer. It can’t hurt to sell your soul and bow down to the Disclaimer, can it? Listen, don’t read the fucking Disclaimer. Don’t be the Disclaimer’s bitch. E-mail me and tell me how much you fucking hate Disclaimers. Call Karl Rove at 202-456-2369 to tell HIM what you think about Disclaimers! That is Karl Rove’s phone number! Hey, Karl – maybe you should focus more on WE, THE PEOPLE, and not so much on THEM, THE DISCLAIMERS.
Remember:
WHEREAS For the most part, this site features humor and politics in some combination. But, you’ll find that most of the pieces do not adhere to that previous statement. Part of this website’s purpose is to serve as a promotional tool - to promote publications, radio shows, stand up comedy performances, and various other endeavors that I may take part in. If you have any interest in reproducing or distributing any material found on this site, please contact me. But, if you’re some big corporation trying to buy me, I got news for you – I AIN’T FOR SALE. You hear me, Corporate AmeriKa? You hear me Captain AmeriKa? You hear me, Kaptain PlaneKt? This site will also promote the projects of those with whom I have been creatively involved. Please check out the Links page; there are many sites there that have either agreed to publish my stuff or that have given me a lot of help with my work. If you are interested in linking to my site or would like me to link to your site, please e-mail me! There are some things that you will definitely not find on this site and I feel that it is important to be blunt about that. On this site, you will not find any content dealing with pornography, hardcore pornography, child pornography, pornography involving Giant Anteaters and mischievously placed ants, chimps, gibbons, Leeza Gibbons, Latvia, Jodie Sweetin, Pol Pot, Cutco knives, The Homestead Act, disclaimers, whack-a-mole games, the works of Titian, Garfield: The Movie, Gale Norton devouring kittens, scarlet rubella, G. Johnstone Stoney (look him up!), Dokken, evil yet seductive robots, Trotsky, camels urinating on their own legs to keep cool, the fact that Tupac is totally still alive, Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots, your crappy indie band, Leon Czolgosz, the game Mousetrap that never fucking worked, rhinoplasty, Horace Grant, and, finally, Guam. Don’t even look for these things, cuz you ain’t gunna find ‘em. Please explore and enjoy A Crowded Fire. I urge you to send me an e-mail and let me and others know what you think of this site. Certain interesting and entertaining comments will be posted on the main page. If you are more of the private type, I won't post your comment - just e-mail me and we’ll find a time to discuss it over some delicious Cuban cuisine, hopefully involving tostones.
Thank you very much, Aaron Sussman
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