Thoughts on John Kerry's Speech at the Democratic National Convention, July 29th, 2004


It’s fucking ridiculous to have to give a dog drugs every time it thunders just because he is scared.  He should be scared and learn that the threat is not real and it is all harmless.  I want drugs when there is thunder or when there’s not.  God I’m tired.  Twelve hours is an absurd amount of time to spend at camp with childvermin.  Fuckin’ promised them s’mores and there were no goddamn s’mores.  Now I’m FUCKED.  Dissent caged in and removed and hidden fuck the Constitution.  Those balloons make me so hungry because I know there is a giant cake somewhere with red frosting and white chocolate and blue frosting and I want to eat it and what a stupid way to pronounce your wife’s name.  Eating lunch at 11:00 sucks, my whole meal routine has gone to shit.  I don’t even think I had a meal routine.  USA chant!  Hell yes haven’t heard one in too long thanks liberal hicks!  I wonder if he talked to those war buddies about kinky sexual shit; I bet he did and some are thinking of relating it to the press.  I would.  Obama!  Damn that’s cool.  Thunder gets me a little on edge too; I know it’s dumb, but I can understand a dog’s fear.  Fuck your kids!  Fuck all of your kids!  Ok some are hot but I don’t give a shit what they have to say, shut up!  Shut the fuck up!  I like that Attorney General line.  Reporting for doody!  That cracked me up.  Hell is on the way!  I must ignore you because I love you.  Easiest way for all parties.  Difference between parties was highlighted that’s good and you couldn’t honestly expect anything more sharp and pointy and prickly and bloody.  No one really cares much about deep sea life around undersea volcanoes and it’s not any more interesting when shown massively.      

 

© 2004 Aaron Sussman. All rights reserved.

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