October 11th was a day of festivities and
self-discovery for the many students who took part in “National Coming Out Day,”
the official day of recognizing and celebrating “sexually dissonant
identities.”
Massive signs proclaimed, “We’re Here! We’re
gay/bisexual/transgender/transsexual/queer/questioning/flexual/asexual/genderfuck/poly-amourous/BDSM! Get used to it!” In addition to catchy
slogans, October 11th featured students, professors, and families
celebrating events like the Supreme Court’s overturning of the Texas sodomy
laws, Congress’s passing of anti-discriminatory legislation, and also displays
of hardcore bondage involving nipple clamps and leather-clad women urinating on
bound men.
“It is really great to see such support for the movement,”
said Journalism Professor Barrett Downs, who has been a long-time activist for
gay rights. “We’ve fought hard for the gay community to be treated with dignity
and given equal rights.” Students echoed this sentiment by throwing dildos and
anal beads into the air above the Professor’s head.
“This is so great,” gushed Sophomore Randall Meder. “We’ve
been getting drenched by the rains of oppression for far too long! From now on,
all our showers will be golden!”
The jubilance and pride evoked by National Coming Out Day,
however, did not last as long as many would have hoped. Marcus Saxton, who
donned fishnet stockings, a purple thong, a pink boa, and aviator sunglasses for
the day, reverted back to jeans and a Polo shirt upon returning home to Baxter,
Iowa, for fall break. “Yeah…this kinda stuff goes over a lot more at Wes than
it does here,” said Saxton, standing in front of his high school football
picture.
Melanie Irwin discreetly removed her rainbow bumper sticker
and her “2QT2BSTR8” bumper sticker before returning home to Fife, Alabama.
“There are a lot of really great things about Fife,” Irwin said, “like we have
one of the biggest NASCAR memorabilia museums in the state. But, tolerance
really isn’t so big there.”
Orval Patton Lee, a 72 year old man who frequents the bench
outside of Fife General Store, had this to say about the Queer Movement: “I
never cared too much for that Liberace fella. I don’t get why he had to dress
like that. Just don’t make no sense to me.”