By Roddy Shuttlecock, staff writer for West Franklin High Tribune
This past Thursday, the West Franklin High School
prom committee announced that next year’s prom slogan will be
“Condensing the Worst Aspects of High School into One Night!” The
slogan is designed to go along with the recently decided theme of
“Awkwardness.”
Students are, according to one rising Senior,
“super psyched” about this gala event, which is being touted as a “night
of constant humiliation, despair, and self-doubt.”
The perennial high school extravaganza will feature
such traditions as rejection (before, during, and most certainly after
prom), extreme self-consciousness, ungainly dancing, ill-fitting and
uncomfortable outfits, and, of course, the ever-popular trip to Planned
Parenthood the morning after prom.
Mrs. Spoogle, supervisor of prom committee, has
already begun making her annual prom announcements, saying, “Please
don’t forget to bring in your checks for this evening of existential
nightmarish tradition marked by crippling depression, abject
self-hatred, and unrelenting hopelessness!”